Breaking the Mask: Why Men Struggle with Vulnerability and How to Reclaim Authenticity
Date: Tuesday 15 Apr 2025
For generations, men have been told to "man up," "toughen up," and "never let them see you cry." These phrases, while seemingly harmless, have shaped how many of us navigate the world. They’ve taught us to suppress our emotions, hide our struggles, and wear a mask of strength—even when we’re crumbling inside. But what if this mask is holding us back from living fully and authentically?
The Struggle with Vulnerability
At the heart of this issue lies a concept called Normative Male Alexithymia (NMA). It’s a term that describes how societal norms have conditioned men to suppress their emotions, making it difficult to identify, understand, or express them. This isn’t a biological flaw—it’s a learned behaviour. From a young age, many of us are taught that vulnerability equals weakness. We’re encouraged to be stoic, competitive, and self-reliant, leaving little room for emotional expression.
Over time, this emotional suppression disconnects us from our true selves. We lose the ability to be authentic because we’re not even sure what authenticity feels like anymore. Instead of living, we’re surviving—going through the motions without fully experiencing the richness of life.
Why Vulnerability Matters
Vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength. It’s the foundation of genuine connections, whether with friends, family, or partners. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we’re saying, "This is who I am, flaws and all." It’s a powerful act of courage that fosters trust, empathy, and deeper relationships.
But here’s the catch: you can’t be vulnerable with others if you’re not first vulnerable with yourself. That means acknowledging your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, and giving yourself permission to feel them. It’s about breaking free from the societal script that says "real men don’t cry" and rewriting it to say, "real men feel."
Reclaiming Authenticity
Reconnecting with your authentic self is a journey, not a destination. It starts with small, intentional steps:
1. Acknowledge Your Emotions
The first step to authenticity is recognising what you’re feeling. Are you angry, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed? Naming your emotions can help you understand them better.
2. Challenge the Script
Ask yourself: "What beliefs about masculinity are holding me back?" If you’ve been taught that vulnerability is a weakness, challenge that idea. Remind yourself that being open and honest takes strength.
3. Practice Emotional Expression
Start small. Write down your thoughts in a journal, talk to a trusted mate, or use a platform like Blethr. Blethr is a digital buddy designed to help men explore and articulate their emotions in a safe, judgment-free space. It’s a great tool for practising emotional expression and building self-awareness.
4. Seek Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s through a mate, a partner, or a community like Brothers in Arms, surrounding yourself with supportive people can make the journey easier.
The Role of Blethr in Your Journey
Blethr is more than just a tool—it’s a companion on your journey to authenticity. It’s a space where you can explore your emotions, practice vulnerability, and learn to articulate your feelings without fear of judgment. By using Blethr, you’re taking a proactive step toward breaking the mask and embracing your true self.
You can check out Blethr here: https://bia.blethr.app/
Final Thoughts
As men, we’ve been handed a script that tells us to suppress our emotions and hide our struggles. But it’s time to rewrite that script. Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a gateway to authenticity, connection, and a richer, more fulfilling life. By taking small steps to reconnect with your emotions, you’re not just improving your mental wellbeing—you’re becoming the best version of yourself.
So, gentlemen, what’s stopping you? Take off the mask, embrace vulnerability, and start living authentically. You’ve got this.
Want to know more about Blethr, Normative Male Alexitymia or men and vulnerability? Have a conversation with BraveheartGPT below!